who would have thought!

who would have thought that the scale going down 5 pounds would be so exciting for me! :) I've been telling myself that as long as I'm happy with me, and taking care of myself that I shouldn't be so hard on myself about my weight. I got my gazelle which i haven't had in a long long time, and I've been using it for the last two days since I got it, 20-30 mins. Which isn't much but that's as long as I can get the baby to nap for at a time during the day. AND it's 20-30 mins more than I have been doing. . . . On a different note, the girls were going to take a bath with their Christmas present, a bubble maker. I started the water and went to fasten the strap onto the little machine which wasn't working so I decided I'd just hold the machine on the side of the tub. I poured the right amount of bubble soap into the machine and turned it on. . . and nothing, absolutely nothing. I decided to go online and search for maybe some better advice on how to use it. I found a site and you wouldn't believe the review. They said that the strap wouldn't work, it was to hard to connect (just like mine) it also said that no matter the amount of the bubble soap it still wouldn't work (just like me) it then went on to say that it was one of the biggest disappointments for her kids because of how excited they were and how it didn't work at all. So I took a deep breath and prepared myself to go in and tell the princess it wasn't going to work. As I got into the bathroom, I took another deep breath and then just realized that I wasn't going to tell her, I was gonna make it work!!! I stepped on the machine and pushed the hook of the strap as hard as I could into the back where it was suppose to attach and it finally stuck! Then I turned it on and nothing was happening so I hung the machine from the nozzle of the bathtub and poured some baby shampoo into it. Nothing. I poured some princess shampoo into it. Nothing. Then I filled an empty bottle of shampoo with water and poured it into the machine as well. A few bubbles, and then nothing. I reached out to the bubble maker and rotated it to the side so I could get a better look at the back without taking it off the nozzle. POOF! a million bubbles just came pouring out! It was pretty cool, so I've learned that you have to mix the bubble soap with water, swish it around and then tilt it on it's side to get it started and then it'll be good to go.

Another Day

Today is another day, another day for the good, the bad, the ugly and the amazing. All just depends on what I choose to take from it. Here at the end of the day I'm choosing to take the best. I'm taking the reassured fact of having a mother who is always there, even if she's being a little inconvenienced by my requests/needs. I'm taking the gift of another day with two of the world's most beautiful amazing girls. I'm choosing to think of all the good I have in my life, and all the things I have to be thankful for. I'm choosing to be happy.

something to add

hmm, so I went back to watching the movie, and found myself drifting off in another completely different thought track. There is a scene where Julie and her husband get into a fight and the husband leaves not long after she is shopping for vegetables and he approaches her after being away for I'm assuming a couple days. Once she sees him she becomes very teary eyed and mumbles 'are you back, please say you're back' . . I found my reaction very saddening actually, I wasn't mushy, I didn't do the 'awe' kind of thing. I actually was slightly disgusted, a wee bit angry, possibly jealous and quite a large helping of bitter. That more than proves to me that I have quite a lot to work on.

Far too long

I've been away far too long. I'm hoping to find my way back. Incidently I'm watching the Julia and Julie movie, where she to decides to blog and to set a deadline for herself. It's interesting how I combine food, movie and writing and suddenly feel like I should and could be more productive :) At least in part of my life. . . . . I find my self side tracked with thoughts. How do you take a person who loves to write but is unmotivated and avoids finishing anything that resembles a possible novel. Someone who adores cooking but has no desire to cook in a restaurant and also avoids presenting it to many people other than her children and herself. Someone who bubbles over with craft ideas but doesn't organize or set aside the time to properly work on them. Someone who would love to travel but fears being stranded. Someone who loves to go on drives but invisions the car breaking down whenever they know they will be driving for more than 15 mins straight. Someone who loves animals but doesn't quite know the best way to go about helping them. Someone who loves to sketch out dresses and design unique outfits, but doesn't teach themselves how to go about bringing them to life. Someone who has a love for history and culture but never uses it beyond telling silver lined stories to her 6 year old daughter. Someone who holds nothing closer to her than her family but feels at times awkward about reaching out. Someone who demands others see the potential in themselves but doesn't see it within. Someone who loves listening, guiding and often encouraging people with their personal issues but finds themselves self concious and frankly whiney about their own shortcomings in the mental department. Someone who loves to learn new things but has an anxiety of being around crowds no matter how small. How do you take this person and mold them into someone productive, useful, important and maybe possibly just by chance inspirational to at least one other human being?

long time

It has been a while since I've written anything, I've been stuck in a bubble of thought. Which ideally is the best time to be writing. We all know that I have a hard time connecting the dots sometimes. I wrote like crazy last night though. More like 'typed' like crazy. I started on one topic and went to a completely other end of the spectrum. It felt really good though, just getting it out of me. I was writing things that I've never told anyone. It was interesting. it felt good, by just shedding light on subjects that never were allowed to see the light of day. Almost like an at home healing I suppose. I'm realizing that when I hurt I shouldn't just try to hide from it. I should address it, both physical and emotional pain is easier for me to deal with if I put it in the spotlight.

Speech and some rambling

I watched president Obama's speech this morning. His speech was at a highschool in Arlington, Virginia. There was a lot of debate on the speech, it was asked that schools allow their students to watch it live from their class room tv's. The speech was directed solely at students. There were a few school boards that decided that it wasn't the best option, instead that they were going to record it and then decide whether or not they should show it to their students. I also saw that there were a bit of people protesting outside the school where the speech was taking place, people were saying that he is attempting to brainwash the youth. There was even one quote taken from somewhere, that said President Obama was trying to brainwash the younger generation like hitler. I thought that was just a bit overboard. I watched the speech myself and although there was a part where he said that it isn't likely they would become rappers or basketball players the rest of the speech wasn't bad. There are two sides to everything, I mean I agree that there are some tests and schooling programs that are just outrageously hard but I think the mind set is something to work on. So much of the world thinks that school is just this nagging thing you have to get through. But I don't think it should be looked at like that. I think the education should be viewed by itself. I agree that actual school is a little hard to handle at times. But, the learning shouldn't be. When kids have these horrible experiences with other students or with teachers it puts a bad taste in their mouth on the whole educational process and that's just a shame. I thoroughly enjoy learning. Infact on my nightstand right now is an oversized hardbound book on america's history, it's called 'this fabulous century, 1900-1910' I have it just because. But as you all know I'm also the type who doesn't do well in public schools. So I'm happy with the fact that he is trying to encourage the younger generation to work hard for what they want and deserve. I'm thinking what most of the debate and misunderstanding is simply that people tend to argue about getting to the same destination a different way. I dont think anyone would honestly say that it is horrible he is encouraging children to learn and strive for their deserved education, but I do think people would rather him do it their way. And that's just not possible all the time, if everyone did the same things the same way there would be no individuality there wouldn't even be a need for freedom of speech all in all it would defeat most of what america stands for. Like it or not we are all different and that includes our president. He is his own person and rightfully so.

quotes

I absolutely love quotes. Just little things to think about. I heard a pretty fantastic quote today, it was off a movie. I had never seen the movie before and only caught some of it today. I believe it was called 'excess baggage' or something along those lines. Any way the guy co-star said it he said 'Do you know the best way to make your dreams come true? . . . The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up." As soon as I heard it, it was like a little bell going off in my head. It's so true. I mean thinking about the things that I want to get done in life does absolutely no good. I need to stop thinking and plotting and planning I need to do it. The thinking and plotting and planning aren't bad things but without action they mean nothing.

I'm planning a little, I'm setting goals for myself and I'm going to make some of those plans known that way I have to stick to them, I can't just push the date back or anything.

My action for the night is simple, pick up the living room, finish the dishes, switch over the laundry and set the girls clothes out for tomorrow. Off I go.

I posted more pictures on facebook. I never can really remember the whole photobucket thing. I'm not having a very good night, well actually that's not the complete truth I was having a wonderful night all except the last hour and ten minutes.

1:31pm

Tomorrow is the big day. I have a full morning with appointments and then in the evening I start working. Mark keeps asking me if I'm happy about it, he says 'at least you'll be able to say you have a job' . . Just the wording makes the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I know he doesn't mean it in a bad way. But I was trying to explain to him that in society it's not always looked upon nicely when someone is 'unemployed' by the states standards. But, to me I don't have a problem with saying that I am unemployed. Well I dont even use that word really cause I don't think of it as 'unemployed' I think of it as not having a state paying job. It's not something that I feel is lacking from my life. I feel it'll be perhaps beneficial in the sense that it can help me accomplish a few things quicker. I'm not ungreatful for the opportunity but at the same time I don't feel lost without it. I suppose that's all for now. Next post will be much better.

rambling like nobody's business

So today was a litte interesting, nothing too crazy or anything. Just slightly interesting. The store that I had put my application into called back a couple times. I had returned a couple phone calls but we just kept missing eachother. When I finally got ahold of someone, Linda is her name, it went completely different than I was imagining it being. I had an interview with a gentleman named Bobby, it was kind of different but he seemed very set on me working the morning shifts in the stockroom. That shift would be primarily 5:00am to 9:30am Monday through Friday. But some of the days when shipments were bigger I would stay until 12pm Which wouldn't be that bad. I talked it over with Mark though and I realized that it might not be the smartest decision I could make. I mean it wouldn't be so bad if things were a little different but in the current situation I dont think I should choose something that has the potential to put any of my relationships at odds. Okay but back to the conversation with Linda, once I finally got her oh the phone I told her who I was and she sounded excited to hear that it was me and she quickly added that she had my schedule for me. I told her that Bobby hadn't even gone over the pay or dress code or any sort of thing so I wasn't expecting that to be what the phone call was about. She apologized for the misunderstanding and told me that she thought Bobby had handled all those details. I said that was fine we all have momentary flubs of communication, it's a fact of life. She then told me that I was scheduled for Thurs 5:45pm to 9:45pm and the same on Friday and then that I was scheduled Saturday from 9am to 5:45pm. This surprised me because 1) it wasn't at all what Bobby had mentioned 2) it didn't even correspond completely with my initial input on my availability. Needless to say I was a bit taken aback, but then it hit me that it wouldn't have the same effect on my day to day life as the other schedule would so maybe I should give it a go. Plus I'm extremely interested in this at home business adventure but it does need a little funding and at this current moment I have no means to fund it with so I perhaps would have at least a little bit of money to start the ball rolling on what I really do want to do. . . . At this specific moment my mind is racing with ideas and possibilities on several different things and then my mind just runs off with something because if this one thing works out then maybe it'll lead to this other awesome thing that perhaps would eventually lead to that and yada yada yada, needless to say I've had one to many cups of coffee and feel a nap coming on ~*~if only this were la la land~*~

feels good to go through with a plan

I did it, with a litte encouragement from mama. But, I did it. I followed through with the rule I set down and right now the couch is in the garage. I got offline took the cushions off tilted it side ways and out the door I pushed. It was a little tricky dragging it around my car since it was parked so close to the garage door. But I did it. And now, there it sits. It's not coming back in either. I believe he is going to attempt to sell it. Which is fine with me as long as it doesn't come back in here. I didn't get a whole lot else done today. Still I feel rather accomplished simply for that. I have a meeting on thursday with an avon representative I'm going to become one :) who knows maybe I'll have a few relatives that would be interested in looking over the magazines every once in a while. . . . . just throwing it out there :) . . . . I'm still waiting for that clothing store to respond. They are waiting on their company who does their backround checks. They said they would call when they came in. I think I'll still give them a call on Friday if I haven't heard from them before then.

Sunday

Still waiting to hear back from the job. Last of the paper work needs to reviewed. . . . I tried getting a bit of things done today, but I realized I dont have everything I need. So, hopefully tomorrow I will get more done. I did however have a blast in the kitchen. I cleaned and reorganized it and having some free space I was inspired to make something random. I ended up making a quiche with ground beef, onions and potatoes, and a mock sheperds pie. The sheperds pie had ground beef, onions and carrots on the bottom and had mashed potatoes with cheese on top as the crust.

My hair is black now. I finally decided to just give it a go. I've realized that life is to short to put things off that you want to do. Even if it is as simple as dying your hair. If you can picture yourself later in life sayind 'I wish I would have done that' then do it.

New Job

Today was an interesting day. I woke up early, by early I mean before the baby. I showered made some coffee checked my mafia wars on facebook. I did all this at my own pace, in the quiet. It was close to surreal. I realized that I've missed such events. I put in an online application for a clothing store last week and yesterday they called me for an interview today at 10:30am. I showed up 15 mins early and was told I could wait in the break room for the interview to begin. It was quite interesting. There were 5 other employees there, all whom were on their breaks. I didn't feel like just throwing myself into their conversation so I pulled out my wallet bible and began reading it. I couldn't help but overhear their conversation though, I continued reading as the discussion was about the previous assistant manager being let go along with a few employees because they were selling drugs during and after business hours. I began to think to myself if this was the place to apply. As I finished the last prayer in the wallet bible the manager on duty came into the room and said that he was ready. I walked into the back room to have a one on one interview. It went pretty well, we both had worked in another clothing store at different times. So we had some stuff in common. He seemed pleased with the fact that I actually preferred to work in the early mornings. He offered me a position in the stockroom where most of the shift would be before store hours. The interview came to a close on a good note and I was informed that I'd hear back on Friday about more details of the schedule and such. Now that I'm home and writing about it I have a mix of emotions, excitement mostly because I'd like to get out of the house a little, but he made it sound like it was serious work, which makes me hesitant. Although I've done very similar work at the other clothing store I was employed at. We shall see, I think I should at least give it a go. I could at least work enough to get my crafting up and going.

Sometimes there is nothing like a little cuddle time.

There's nothing like sisterly love. I never get tired of seeing the girls together, every day it makes me so happy just to see those cute little faces together.

AHH

So it has been far too long since I have posted anything on here. I was just talking with my mom about this. I have such a bad habit of saving stuff unti 'tomorrow' that I end up never getting around to it. Even with stuff that makes me happy. On This 3day of August 18th at this hour of 1:33pm I do declare that I will work harder and stick to a much healthier schedule.

cooking

I tried my luck at taco soup yesterday, it seemed to go over well. It was a bit too spicy for some so hopefully the eclairs I made helped hold them over. I do enjoy cooking very much. My other half keeps trying to get me to take culinary classes, but I don't really have a desire to become a short order cook. I just don't think I'm cut out for it. I much more prefer to cook what I feel like cooking, and for my family. Next friday I think I'm going to attempt Lemon chicken. I'll have to see who I can recruit to have dinner with me :)

being aware

I cleaned Justice's room from ceiling to floor. It felt really good. I even scrubbed out the window cracks. The most amazing part of it all is it looks thoroughly lived in now :) Much easier to pick up now though. Next is my room. I have a bit more clutter in there though. Mostly stuff that I need to get rid of at the garage sale. But I'm not gonna lie I still have quite a bit of clutter that I really would prefer to keep :) my yarn, my books, my puzzles, my notebooks, my crafts, my fabric, ect. Although I do know that if I finally take care of it the way it should be that I'll have plenty of room to work on all kinds of crafts. And that is exciting, very exciting. I have a bit of cleaning A.D.D. I've realized, I'll start loading the laundry and then on my way to getting more clothes out of the bathroom I'll clean the bathroom mirror off, and then end up taking out the bathroom trash afterwards, which will then make me want to clean off the carpet infront of the door way, which will make me realize that some of Justice's toys have ventured out of her room and onto the floor in the living room, once the floor of the living room is picked up I'll realize that I should vaccum the floor, once that is done it's the perfect time to finally fold the clean clothes that have been camping out in the basket in the living room, I'll lay down a clean blanket and sit down and fold some clothes, I'll need a few hangers from Justice's room since most of her clothes hang in her closet, I'll bring the hangers out into the living room, Vera stirs in her crib so I go check on her and pat her back to sleep and notice the papers that need to be picked up in my room, once they are picked up I'll stack them neatly in the hall closet where I keep most of my filed papers, when I open the closet I notice that there are only three towels left in the closet, which reminds me that my load of laundry is still waiting to be filled. . . . .

soda be gone

Well I haven't been working out as hard as I should but I haven't drank any soda. Justice decided that she is going to go without soda as well a couple days after I started and yesterday Mark decided he's going to go without it as well. We're going to tackle it together. Justice is rather excited about it because if she can make it every day until Grandma's birthday, Grandma said she'd try to stop smoking. Justice is doing really good about it too, she doesn't even talk about wanting soda unless she's around Grandma. I think we will all feel much better without it.

30 day challenge

here we go . . . . .
I officially started my challenge, it was shall we say much more than I'm use to. My legs burn, and I mean burn like crazy!
The timer ended on just under 19 mins and 136.1 calories. I feel good, but pretty tired. Tomorrow will be the real test, to see how that one goes.
I've also made another challenge for myself during these 30 days I'm also going to try and not drink any soda. I have faith in my capabilities :)