who would have thought!

who would have thought that the scale going down 5 pounds would be so exciting for me! :) I've been telling myself that as long as I'm happy with me, and taking care of myself that I shouldn't be so hard on myself about my weight. I got my gazelle which i haven't had in a long long time, and I've been using it for the last two days since I got it, 20-30 mins. Which isn't much but that's as long as I can get the baby to nap for at a time during the day. AND it's 20-30 mins more than I have been doing. . . . On a different note, the girls were going to take a bath with their Christmas present, a bubble maker. I started the water and went to fasten the strap onto the little machine which wasn't working so I decided I'd just hold the machine on the side of the tub. I poured the right amount of bubble soap into the machine and turned it on. . . and nothing, absolutely nothing. I decided to go online and search for maybe some better advice on how to use it. I found a site and you wouldn't believe the review. They said that the strap wouldn't work, it was to hard to connect (just like mine) it also said that no matter the amount of the bubble soap it still wouldn't work (just like me) it then went on to say that it was one of the biggest disappointments for her kids because of how excited they were and how it didn't work at all. So I took a deep breath and prepared myself to go in and tell the princess it wasn't going to work. As I got into the bathroom, I took another deep breath and then just realized that I wasn't going to tell her, I was gonna make it work!!! I stepped on the machine and pushed the hook of the strap as hard as I could into the back where it was suppose to attach and it finally stuck! Then I turned it on and nothing was happening so I hung the machine from the nozzle of the bathtub and poured some baby shampoo into it. Nothing. I poured some princess shampoo into it. Nothing. Then I filled an empty bottle of shampoo with water and poured it into the machine as well. A few bubbles, and then nothing. I reached out to the bubble maker and rotated it to the side so I could get a better look at the back without taking it off the nozzle. POOF! a million bubbles just came pouring out! It was pretty cool, so I've learned that you have to mix the bubble soap with water, swish it around and then tilt it on it's side to get it started and then it'll be good to go.

Another Day

Today is another day, another day for the good, the bad, the ugly and the amazing. All just depends on what I choose to take from it. Here at the end of the day I'm choosing to take the best. I'm taking the reassured fact of having a mother who is always there, even if she's being a little inconvenienced by my requests/needs. I'm taking the gift of another day with two of the world's most beautiful amazing girls. I'm choosing to think of all the good I have in my life, and all the things I have to be thankful for. I'm choosing to be happy.

something to add

hmm, so I went back to watching the movie, and found myself drifting off in another completely different thought track. There is a scene where Julie and her husband get into a fight and the husband leaves not long after she is shopping for vegetables and he approaches her after being away for I'm assuming a couple days. Once she sees him she becomes very teary eyed and mumbles 'are you back, please say you're back' . . I found my reaction very saddening actually, I wasn't mushy, I didn't do the 'awe' kind of thing. I actually was slightly disgusted, a wee bit angry, possibly jealous and quite a large helping of bitter. That more than proves to me that I have quite a lot to work on.

Far too long

I've been away far too long. I'm hoping to find my way back. Incidently I'm watching the Julia and Julie movie, where she to decides to blog and to set a deadline for herself. It's interesting how I combine food, movie and writing and suddenly feel like I should and could be more productive :) At least in part of my life. . . . . I find my self side tracked with thoughts. How do you take a person who loves to write but is unmotivated and avoids finishing anything that resembles a possible novel. Someone who adores cooking but has no desire to cook in a restaurant and also avoids presenting it to many people other than her children and herself. Someone who bubbles over with craft ideas but doesn't organize or set aside the time to properly work on them. Someone who would love to travel but fears being stranded. Someone who loves to go on drives but invisions the car breaking down whenever they know they will be driving for more than 15 mins straight. Someone who loves animals but doesn't quite know the best way to go about helping them. Someone who loves to sketch out dresses and design unique outfits, but doesn't teach themselves how to go about bringing them to life. Someone who has a love for history and culture but never uses it beyond telling silver lined stories to her 6 year old daughter. Someone who holds nothing closer to her than her family but feels at times awkward about reaching out. Someone who demands others see the potential in themselves but doesn't see it within. Someone who loves listening, guiding and often encouraging people with their personal issues but finds themselves self concious and frankly whiney about their own shortcomings in the mental department. Someone who loves to learn new things but has an anxiety of being around crowds no matter how small. How do you take this person and mold them into someone productive, useful, important and maybe possibly just by chance inspirational to at least one other human being?

long time

It has been a while since I've written anything, I've been stuck in a bubble of thought. Which ideally is the best time to be writing. We all know that I have a hard time connecting the dots sometimes. I wrote like crazy last night though. More like 'typed' like crazy. I started on one topic and went to a completely other end of the spectrum. It felt really good though, just getting it out of me. I was writing things that I've never told anyone. It was interesting. it felt good, by just shedding light on subjects that never were allowed to see the light of day. Almost like an at home healing I suppose. I'm realizing that when I hurt I shouldn't just try to hide from it. I should address it, both physical and emotional pain is easier for me to deal with if I put it in the spotlight.

Speech and some rambling

I watched president Obama's speech this morning. His speech was at a highschool in Arlington, Virginia. There was a lot of debate on the speech, it was asked that schools allow their students to watch it live from their class room tv's. The speech was directed solely at students. There were a few school boards that decided that it wasn't the best option, instead that they were going to record it and then decide whether or not they should show it to their students. I also saw that there were a bit of people protesting outside the school where the speech was taking place, people were saying that he is attempting to brainwash the youth. There was even one quote taken from somewhere, that said President Obama was trying to brainwash the younger generation like hitler. I thought that was just a bit overboard. I watched the speech myself and although there was a part where he said that it isn't likely they would become rappers or basketball players the rest of the speech wasn't bad. There are two sides to everything, I mean I agree that there are some tests and schooling programs that are just outrageously hard but I think the mind set is something to work on. So much of the world thinks that school is just this nagging thing you have to get through. But I don't think it should be looked at like that. I think the education should be viewed by itself. I agree that actual school is a little hard to handle at times. But, the learning shouldn't be. When kids have these horrible experiences with other students or with teachers it puts a bad taste in their mouth on the whole educational process and that's just a shame. I thoroughly enjoy learning. Infact on my nightstand right now is an oversized hardbound book on america's history, it's called 'this fabulous century, 1900-1910' I have it just because. But as you all know I'm also the type who doesn't do well in public schools. So I'm happy with the fact that he is trying to encourage the younger generation to work hard for what they want and deserve. I'm thinking what most of the debate and misunderstanding is simply that people tend to argue about getting to the same destination a different way. I dont think anyone would honestly say that it is horrible he is encouraging children to learn and strive for their deserved education, but I do think people would rather him do it their way. And that's just not possible all the time, if everyone did the same things the same way there would be no individuality there wouldn't even be a need for freedom of speech all in all it would defeat most of what america stands for. Like it or not we are all different and that includes our president. He is his own person and rightfully so.

quotes

I absolutely love quotes. Just little things to think about. I heard a pretty fantastic quote today, it was off a movie. I had never seen the movie before and only caught some of it today. I believe it was called 'excess baggage' or something along those lines. Any way the guy co-star said it he said 'Do you know the best way to make your dreams come true? . . . The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up." As soon as I heard it, it was like a little bell going off in my head. It's so true. I mean thinking about the things that I want to get done in life does absolutely no good. I need to stop thinking and plotting and planning I need to do it. The thinking and plotting and planning aren't bad things but without action they mean nothing.

I'm planning a little, I'm setting goals for myself and I'm going to make some of those plans known that way I have to stick to them, I can't just push the date back or anything.

My action for the night is simple, pick up the living room, finish the dishes, switch over the laundry and set the girls clothes out for tomorrow. Off I go.